Things I Want To Change in Myself - Confession

There's no human being that is perfect. We have flaws everywhere because we made mistakes. They could come from making poor or wrong decisions, fail or unable to see from other people's perspective, making assumptions about what others think about us, and more. From those mistakes, we learn something valuable and improve ourselves to become a better person. This process is what makes us human and it is also the most improtant life lesson you have to experience. Time and experience are the best teachers to teach us powerful lessons about our life.

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.”

“Well, we all make mistakes, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.” 

In today's blog post, I want to share the things I'm aiming to make myself better. Everything I will mention here is what I've been struggling to change for my life.

1. Have a mature attitude and personality.
   I have to say, this particular part of me is the hardest one to overcome. I admit that I haven't matured yet and hate myself for it when I see the person and people I love ges hurt by my short thinking. Being mature especially for women has a strong influence in all aspects of their life. I keep struggling on changing myself to behave maturely. I don't mean the way I look and dressed, it's about whether I learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat those mistakes, how I handle and deal with my problems, change the way I think toward something, having a wiser way of thinking, all other things that can make us turn into a more mature person.

   "You may not be able to control every situation and it's outcome, but you can control your attitude and how you deal with it. Maturity doesn't mean age, it means sensitivity, manners and how you react”

   
   
2. See from others' point of view.
   
   Whenever I have to deal with personal problems, I tend to get sensitive first because I always think whatever I do is always wrong in front of the other person. I keep blaming myself that I'm the one who cause the problem and I am responsible for making the problem become worse too. I have been like these; seeing things only in my perspective, blaming myself for everything that happened, putting myself in the lowest position because I feel that no one is going to support me; and I always find myself falling down in the same hole. I really need extra hardwork, determination, and motivation for driving me to change my perspective. I slowly learn to see situations from other people's point of view and avoiding making the same mistkes. This is a life time process so I have to embrace it because that's what makes me become the person I am today. It is such an overwhelming feeling once you try to see something from a different perspective.
   

   "Sometimes you need to look at Life from a different perspective. As you change your point of view, your views brings about a change in you. Only those who'd changed could see things from a different point of view.""You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” 

3. Think more positively.
   

   I used to think of myself as a total pessimist and I still am now, but not as worse as before. It has something to do with the problems I mentioned before, unable to see from other people's perspective, put a blame on myself for what happened, and the worst one is my ego is in my way to see things differently. I am an optimist when I'm calm and I can control myself and handle the situation at times, however I can turn 180 degrees to a total pesimist when I start to worry things and thinking too far ahead about what might happen next. I just can't help it and it's really bad for me. In order to change this, I have to try to think positively first and control my negative thoughts so that I have a different view of the things I face and deal with.

"Think positive, be positive and positive things will happen. Positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen every time but accepting that whatever happenes is the best for the moment. Live your life happy to the fullest."

4. Control my emotions and feelings.
   I have issues with controlling both my emotions and feelings. I unconciously showing or letting people know what I feel at the moment and you can tell it straight away by my gestures, body language, facial expression, and the way I talk or speak. We can't deny that we are driven by our emotions day by day and they are altered from time to time. I'm not saying that we must never show our emotions at all, it's just the negative emotions that need extreme and special treatment. In order to be able to control my emotions and feelings, I learn to take a deep breath to calm myself down, then think logically and replace my thoughts into something positive. Once you try it, you'll be surprised how great it feels that you've finally done it for the first time.

"Don't let your emotion distract you from doing what needs to be done. Control your emotions so your emotions do not control you. You can't control your emotion, but you can control your action. Learn how to control your emotions. Choose them, don't let them choose you."

Well, that's just a few things I want to share with you. I am still learning to become a better person and I am not tired of it. I know myself very well that I am still far from being mature and I have been told by others that I need to keep learning from my mistakes and take the lessons from it. I am working really hard to change myself to be better, especially for someone I care so much.

I'm not asking you to feel pity about me. I'm sorry that I don't elaborate this blog post well enough. I am grateful that I have become a different person compare to years before. I hope this blog post can inspire others to become a better person. Look forward to my next blog post.

Regards,


Neyllz ♥

Meet Neyllz ♥

はじめまして !

Hajimemashite!

Nice to meet you !

私 わ Nelly です.

Watashi wa Nelly desu.

 I'm Nelly.

よろしくお願いします!

Yoroshikuonegaishimasu!

It's a pleasure to meet you!

 Full Name : Nelly Budiarjo

Nickname : Nelly , Neyllz is my alias

Chinese Name : 許美麗 (Xǔ měilì)

 Place, Date of Birth : Pontianak, November 25th, 1991

Zodiac : Sagittarius - The Archer

Chinese Zodiac : Sheep.. or Goat (?) *whichever you want to say it*

 

Hobbies : SPORTS! especially badminton and swimming.

I LIKE

MAKEUP ♥

FASHION ♥

JAPANESE CUISINE =9

BUBBLE TEA or MILK TEA, with different toppings =3

♥ Big fluffy dogs, my favorite is Alaskan Malamute breed ♥

♥ Bunnies and Rabbits XD ♥

ANIME and MANGA !! especially shoujo, fantasy, comedy, and romance comedy genre.

MUSIC, especially from this group band because they make both Japanese and Korean songs. ♥

That's the brief introduction about me. There will be more get to know me posts coming to your way. I hope you enjoy this first one.

Yours Truly

Neyllz ♥

Things I've done in my life at least once X)

Howdy folks?

I was browsing my facebook news feed when I saw a link with the headline "12 Things Everyone Should Do Alone At Least Once". I thought to myself, "Well, this looks interesting", then I clicked on that link, read the article, and somehow I found myself smiling while reading it.

After I finished reading the article I thought, "well, why not share the things that I've done alone based on that link?". So, here you go, I 'll tell you my own experience of doing things by myself. Enjoy!! <(' v ')>

1. Go out to eat
   I live in an area where most of the residents are university students, so of course there are lots of eating places or small restaurants (not literally restaurant). Most of the time I go out eating by myself. How do I feel? Well, not strange at all, probably because I'm quite a loner. Sometimes I go out eating with my brother or my best friend(s), well, it depends on my mood of the moment. It's a different story if I'm out in the mall, and again, it depends on whether I go to the mall by myself or with my friend(s). Overall, it's not that bad if you're eating alone, in fact, I think it's kind of cool.
   
   
2. Travel
   Once, I took an evening travel schedule to Bandung. I've promised one of my best friend there that I would visit her. To tell you the truth, it was a last minute decision that I made. I planned to do it some other time, but if she hadn't messaged/called me that day, I would have never gone there and she would have been angry to me (I was a bit scared of her too <(>,<;)>). At that time, I packed the things I needed to bring with me in a hurry, but fortunately I packed well. I was thinking about running away from reality back then because of my personal problems I had. Other reasons were I needed a break after I finished my final term test and relaxation before I started my thesis months. I arrived in Bandung at midnight and she picked me up and we went back to her place.
   In Bandung, it was pretty cold and chilly. I took a bath in the next morning and the water was ice cold. Morning times in Bandung was really nice, the air was fresh and cool, unlike in Jakarta. What did I do when I was in Bandung? My best friend took me to some nice places. I met my childhood friend and we had an amazing day to catch up with life. I did a lot of shopping too, hence by the end of the month I almost went broke, but somehow I still survived (didn't realize I typed in the sentence that my guy friend always say XD). I felt the freedom of doing whatever I want. I was with my girl too and we had plenty girls day/night out. She introduced me to some of Bandung's culinary that I could not find in Jakarta and it was all delicious. That time, I really enjoyed myself in such a foreign place and in some way I learned to love myself more.
   
   
   
3. See a movie
   I love movies, but never mention horror movies in front of my face. I love watching movies, whether it is in my own personal computer or in theaters. There's a time I watched a movie in a theater by myself. I wanted to watch Man of Steel so bad that time, so I went to the theater and bought the ticket. I picked the schedule and saw that there were plenty of empty seats. I saw one row of seats where no one had reserved any seats yet. I thought it was my lucky day that I chose the best seat for myself and I got the ticket. Finally, it was the show time. The first 10-15 minutes was amazing when suddenly a man came to my row and sat on my left. What's worse, he smelled really weird!! It was the weirdest perfume I've ever smelled in my whole life. Shortly afterwards, a single mom came with two of her children and sat on my right, and I thought I wouldn't enjoy the show the way I wanted and it was going to be a long movie. I couldn't concentrate on the movie because of the annoying brats who just couldn't STFU and the weird smelling dude. I prayed that dude would GTFO (move himself) to other seats but he didn't move an inch!! It was one of the worse day I had. I had times when I could enjoy a movie by myself. To tell you the truth, I prefer to watch movies in my personal computer although I have to wait for some time until I can download the movies from the internet. Conclusion? You can enjoy watching a movie by yourself in a theater, just don't expect everything will be fine. It's better if you have your friend come along with you. It's your choice, folks.
   
   
4. Hit the mall
   I've done this ever since I came to Jakarta to continue my study. It's the thing that I always do to kill my time. It is such a joy and happiness to be on your own, visiting some stores, trying on some clothes, strolling around, eating a nice meal, and many more. Nothing is in my way, just follow my own instinct to wherever place I want to go and do whatever things I want to do in a mall. I'm just being a girl that I want to be.
   I'm not always by myself whenever I go to a mall. Sometimes I go with my best friend(s), whether it is just the two of us or in a small group. Most of the time in a mall, I will go eat in my favorite restaurant and enjoy my meal alone. There is a certain freedom and confidence that I feel whenever I go to a mall alone. To me, I enjoy both going by myself and having friends to go there.
   
   
   
5. Exercise
   I never go to a gym, not that I don't like it, it's a waste of money. I just don't want to waste my money for gym because I won't go to the gym routinely. Sometimes I wish I had more money to register to a certain fitness center. However, exercising doesn't need to cost some money, it can be done in free. Just go browse YouTube or download some exercise videos that you can find. I found a YouTube channel and in that channel it contained lots of different exercises for your body. I really enjoy cardio exercises because in such a short time I can sweat a lot. What's better, nobody watches me because I do my exercises in my own room. It benefits me on my health too, even better I don't have to spend my money at all.

That's about it, folks.Those are the things that I've done alone in my life. What about yours? Can you mention other things that you have to do alone at least once in life?
Catch up with me in my other social media. Go to the right corner and click them. I'll see you in my next blog post!


Regards,



Neyllz ♥

Moving on from Break Ups.. How hard can it be..?

To men and women on this planet,

To be in a relationship with someone you love is indeed something that we all want in our life. We're hoping this person who has been with you long enough is your one and only true love. A wonderful proposal, gorgeous wedding party, and other things we want for a wonderful happily ever after life with our other half. Overall, we all want the same thing in life, meeting the person we called as soul mate and be with him/her for the rest of our life.

    

Then again, we live in reality, and of course we can not have exactly everything in life. We all have our ups and downs moments in life, in this case to be in love with someone and then something happened thus breaking up. Some people can not deal with break ups easily, others have their own ways to deal with break ups. In today's blog post, I'm going to talk about ways to deal with break ups. So, grab your notes and pen, and let's get down to business..!

First off, what feelings do we get from break ups? anger? sad? depressed? stressed? hate? all of those are negative, and it will consume us if we just let it stay within ourselves. It is normal to feel like that because it shows that you are a human being, however, do you want to feel like that for the rest of your life..? Just because you are not together with the person you love anymore doesn't mean that it's the end of the world for you. I know it's easier said than done, but believe me, once you take the first step, you're one step closer and closer to freedom.

So, how do we deal with break ups..? There are so many ways to do it, well.. I'm going to share some steps or ways to do so based on my own experience.

1. Learn how to let go.
   Once again, easier said than done. How do we let go of someone who have already been in our life?? Well, I have thought about this myself, "Once a person comes into your life, by the time he left you, everything about him stays and stucks in your mind, memories, and heart.. and what sucks about it is that it lasts FOREVER..!". Life sure is sucks and everything BAD that we want to get away from it, thus we try to find some "shortcuts". Did you ever think about what would happen to everyone who still cares about you? Mom and Dad (family), best friends, and most of all, GOD himself..? Your family and friends will be wondering what happened to you and why you try to get "shortcuts". I'm not saying that I am GOD himself, but think about it, He created you to have a purpose in your life but you choose something else, can you imagine how sad He will be..? You can think about more reasons why you must never get "shortcuts".
   The easiest way to let go is to get rid of things related to your ex, photos, clothes, gifts, everything that reminds you of your ex, GET RID OF THEM! I know you have memories about those stuffs. You will know it yourself which one to keep and which one to throw away. No one says that this step is easy. You have to do it yourself and you can finally realize how good it feels to let go. By letting go, you are removing toxins inside your mind and heart. It takes a long process until you can finally be free from your ex.
   
   
   
2. Find something to distract yourself from thinking about your ex.
   Distracting yourself from thinking about your ex is another way to deal with break ups. What should we do to distract ourselves? There are a lot of things we can do! When was the last time you hung out with your friends? Meet your friends or best friends and catch up with what you have in your life so far with them. Surround yourself with positive people, thus you will be positive towards your life.
   Ladies, you know you like to go shopping. Go ahead and shop 'til you drop *not literally though XP* Window shopping is fine too. It's time to "spoil" yourself after a horrible break up. Have yourself a beauty day and pamper yourself with beauty products. Gents, you know you like sports. Go get your friends to play sports with you. Not only it is healthy for your body, but also you finally get together again with your friends. You can even have your own after break up to-do list. Go think about fun activities you can do and enjoy, whether it is just for yourself or with your friends. I have my own ways to distract myself, which is watching my favorite animes and movies. Sometimes I go shopping by myself. You might think that having a dream board is not really helping, but is there anything wrong about it to have one? I decided to make one myself months after my worst break up ever and I can see that I have reached some goals in my life, and for that I am thankful and grateful to the Almighty one who owns Heaven and Earth.
   
   
   
3. Focus on PRESENT time.
   What is important to remember each and everyday, we live in the PRESENT! There's no point holding on to your past, it will only make you harder to move on with your life. Everybody knows this quote, "Yesterday is HISTORY, Tomorrow is MISTERY, and Today is a GIFT, that's why they called it as PRESENT". Back to what I have thought to myself about letting go, I said to myself, "Just get on with my life and face reality in my own way. Get on, move on, deal with it and suck it up!" Does your tears worth to be wasted for someone like that who breaks your heart? Cry as much as you want then stop, it's time to focus yourself on what you have right now. Be grateful for every single thing you have in your life. Don't blame yourself for everything that went wrong in your life. It has to happen like that because He wants you to learn something from it. You have to focus yourself in this present time (now) because it makes you learn to appreciate what you have in your life and what you have done to achieve it.
   
   
   
4. Change yourself.
   It doesn't mean you have to change into something else. Change your appearance, you can start by changing your hair color or your hairstyle. There's nothing wrong to go outside of the box. Men and women can be fashionable, thus you can change the way you dressed. For women, go try to be more feminine or casual or preppy or whatever style you like. Maybe you can start wearing makeup or try a new makeup look, to enhance your beauty. For men, you can do the same, minus the makeup. Just be yourself! Be whoever you want to be! Personally, I have tried to wear dresses and it makes me feel a little bit more confident. I have dyed and redyed my hair several times too and I really love my hair and the way I look now. Love yourself first then you can feel the overwhelming confidence you get once you do it.
   
   
   
5. Do something to motivate yourself to move on with life.
   You can find so many articles about how to deal with break ups from different sources. You can also watch some videos about it too. I'll give some links related to today's topic here.
   
   
   Styling an Outfit to restore your confidence : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBQXjc7K4o8
   Girl's Guide to Starting Over : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRfCRQOKw7Q
   Getting over break ups : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eJwU-Ug8yk

Now that I have mentioned how I deal with break ups and how to move on with my life, do you still think that moving on from break ups is really difficult? There are still lots of ways to deal with break ups that I can not mention here one by one. Those are my ways to deal with it. How about you? Do you have your own ways to deal with break ups or move on from break ups? Share it here in the comments.

I wish for all the best in our life. Hopefully someday, we can finally meet the one that is meant to be for us. God is still writing about my love story for He is preparing the best for everything for me, so does He prepares it for all of you.

Regards,

Neyllz ♥